Threads + Thoughts | Comparison is the Thief of Joy

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Oh, hey there, Internet. Good to see you again. It has been a while, hasn’t it? Sorry I went all MIA on you. But look! I’m compensating with a photo of me attempting to look sexy and smirky in this rad little shift dress I scored on a Thrift. It’s the perfect weight, length and cut for summer, plus it’s super versatile and looks great paired with damn near anything.  I have a feeling I’m going to be rocking this well into the autumn months (though
 the entire concept of seasons in Southern California is sort of a joke). 

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To be perfectly honest, part of the reason I am so few and far between on the outfit photos is because they are really hard for me. I feel so silly, primping and preening for the camera, even now, after all this time. Even when I have someone else to take my photos, I feel so stilted and unsure of myself as soon as I sense the lens on me. I suppose there is an element of insecurity, the worry of how I look. There are still days where I struggle to like my appearance, still days where I worry that I’m an ugly girl and that self consciousness is particularly keen when I’m in front of the camera.

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A part of the reason I started my style blog was because I realized I avoided cameras. There are huge chunks of my youth in which not a single photo of me exists because I hated having my picture taken. For years I would either flee the room or pull a face whenever a camera pointed in my direction. I still have a hard time smiling for photos, because I think I look like a complete goober when I smile. Hence the eternal RBF (Resting Bitch Face) in all my photos. I know how silly that is, particularly since I spent 2.5 years in braces and get compliments on my smile all the time…but it’s just one of those things, ya know? There’s probably some carryover insecurity from the Before Braces era, when I was a snaggle-toothed little kid who covered her mouth when she smiled.

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I’m still coming to terms with the way that I look. Every day there is the comparison, the concern that I am not pretty enough or not as pretty as someone else. I rarely doubt my own intelligence or sense of humor, but my looks? That is something I am constantly questioning. As I was editing these photos, that nasty, inner critic we all have started doing it’s thing. Gosh, your face is boring. Shouldn’t I have a thigh-gap? Are my knee caps fat? Why in gods name am I concerned about the fatness of my knee caps?? It’s all so silly and trivial and superficial. Who am I comparing myself to? Whose standard of beauty am I not measuring up to? Why am I enforcing that standard on myself?

Recently, the ever lovely and encouraging Gala Darling posted this image on her Facebook page and the sentiment hit me like a fistful of glitter. Just stop. Stop comparing yourself to other people, stop evaluating yourself based on someone else. Here’s a little secret; you never measure up. So just stop doing it. It reminded me of another quote I love, and one I’ll leave you (and my inner critic) with.

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Worn | Repeat Offender

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Since moving to Southern California, we’ve been staying with my Mancandy’s family, and thus, the majority of my clothing/worldly possessions have remained in storage…which has resulted in my wearing and re-wearing the same six or seven articles of clothing over and over and over again. This dress in particular has gotten a great deal of play in the balmy SoCal climate. I scored it at Goodwill in San Francisco during January, when the dress racks of SF are full to bursting with neglected summer dresses, as the climate is akin to the arctic and sheets of rain discourage even the bravest fashionista from baring too much skin.

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Initially, I wasn’t so sure about it. The mustard-yellow color and graphic animal print seemed like they might be too much…but somehow, the grunge-influenced 90’s print and cut have grown on me and now I wear it at least once or twice a week…with boots, with flats and continually with this denim jacket (which, let’s be honest, I wear with everything). It’s casual and comfy enough to wear while lounging around the house, but also just playful enough to wear out and about. It’s so damn versatile, I’ve worn it to the beach, for excursions to Ojai and dinner with friends, and most recently for a drive up to The Cross above the quaint little beach town of Ventura, where these shots were taken.thecrossventura

I’m still adjusting to the temperatures down here, so living in dresses and shorts is pretty much all I’m capable of. I can’t even fathom rocking jeans most of the time, and my poor, poor sweater collection will have to find a new home since I don’t foresee them getting much play down here, though it was kind of brisk on the top of this mountain. The couple above resorted to sucking face the whole time in order to stay warm. So much face-smooching happening. But it makes a rather pretty picture, no?

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Hope all you kiddo’s trapped in the winter-wonderland of the East Coast are staying warm, even if it is through sucking face. Send some snow to Cali, it’s dry as hell here.

jacket :: vintage via WastelandSF | dress :: thrifted via Goodwill | flats :: ???

Personal Style | No Place To Be Alone

I snagged these super spiffy purple pants at the big goodwill downtown and now their one of my new favorites. The color, the fit, and the amazing embroidered details on the belt loops are all so perfect I can’t get over it. And, to top off their perfection, they seem to go so splendidly with so many things I already own. For example, this vintage top with its red, gold, black and purple stripes accents them so splendidly. Threw on my trusty red flats and my ubiquitous denim jacket and felt like the classiest of ladies.

 

I snapped these photos on the steps of a staircase in Golden Gate Park that I thought might grant me a little privacy, since its a bit hidden at the back of a field and nestled amongst trees. But as soon as I pulled my camera out it seemed to become a primary thoroughfare. So I sucked up my chagrin at being the strange girl taking pictures of herself in the park and managed to capture these images in between pedestrians.

This might be my only real complaint about living in the city. As a child of the mountains, I am unused to having such a difficult time finding a bit of seclusion. The city is no place to be alone. I live in a house with four other people, on a street constantly mobbed with tourists and transients alike. I work a job where one of my primary duties is to be gregarious and charming, and while I love my roommates, my city, and my profession, at times it can be a bit much to be always “on” for someone. At times, a body just wants a bit of solace. And finding a moment to be alone is an entirely different thing in the city than it is in the mountains, where the solitude of nature can be reached within steps of ones front door.

{blouse | vintage a perfect match}{pants | vintage Mo Hee}{flats | thrifted MIA}{jacket | vintage Climate Control}

Here, you must seek silence. You must hunt for it like a lost set of keys. Finding a quiet spot to think, or read, or take photos, or just sit in contemplation is a rare respite from a city thrumming with curiosity about it’s inhabitants. Most often, one finds their solitude in the crowds. In the anonymity of being a member of this teaming metropolis. By sitting quietly on the train without making eye contact, secluding yourself with head phones and far-away stares. But finding a true moment of isolation, of pure aloneness, is rare.

 

personal style | a circle around where you are now

apologies for my absence. i’ve been in the midst of many a personal crises and haven’t known what to do with myself. but things are better now, settling into a rhythm i can rely upon. i am feeling calmer, clearer. my sense of purpose restored. for the first time in a long time i feel like i am exactly where i’m supposed to be.
{vintage skirt | thrifted} {leather purse | thrifted} {f21 blouse | thrifted}{shades | buffalo exchange}

Flora & Fauna

 

 

 

style | a place in the sun

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{peacock feather skirt | Goodwill}{sheer houndstooth top | Goodwill}{black 1/4 sleeve cardigan | Goodwill}
{sunnies | Buffalo Exchange}{black booties | eh?}{tooled leather + silver belt | momma}

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hey, look at that…an entirely thrifted outfit. except the shoes…and the name of the shop I got them at escapes me. Somewhere in the mission. this skirt is like my BFF, thing never lets me down.

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livin’ out on the skids

so I'm one of those lucky dames with great friends, and one of those great friends was kind enough to treat me to a ticket to the Black Lips first show in SF in what's gotta be 4 or 5 years now. They played last night at the amazing Great American Music Hall, which is probably one of my favorite venues in the city, and it just because its the locale of my first ever show in SF (a Deer Hoof gig right around the last time the BlackLips were in town) but because it's freakin gorgeous inside and they always manage to book awesome shows with great energy. Last night being no exception.

We showed up fashionably late and there was still a line down the block, but the exceedingly efficient staff got us through the doors and out of the cold in no time. The bar was crowded, but the crowd was unusually divers, as it was an all ages show. Kids that probably crawled out of the womb when these guys first got started eyeballed me from the crowd as I sipped my drink and assumed that, at twelve these tender youngins have way more street cred than I ever did.

{1. patient people awaiting libations. 2. A fav of mine (and the entire crowds) 3. Needless to say the Fernet was flowing. 4. they have a banner these days. Profesh!

 
As soon as they walked on stage you could tell it was gonna be a good night,and the energy didn't diminish a bit throughout the entire show. The crowd was pumped, the band was pumped, it was good vibes all around, this is what I wore to check these cats out, and it's what I'm wearing again today (don't you judge me, I only got a little sweaty).

{jeans | BDG}{blouse | vintage}{jacket | vintage}

 

{boots | Steve Madden}{jewelry | White Buffalo}

 

 

The Immortality of Flowers

Spent another afternoon running around with the fab Gillian Lee of TrixieLand Photography and her lovely friend Tracy. We hit up a very cool spot in San Francisco’s Bayview/Hunters Point area, which is typically a vet industrial part of the city. Yet somehow, amidst low-slung grey buildings and streets busy with delivery trucks and construction companies, there exists an extraordinary oasis that one could spend a lifetime in this city and never know about.
Flora Grubb Gardens is a beautiful, full service garden store and florist that also houses a Ritual Coffee outpost. They have beautifully landscaped grounds and some amazing furniture for your garden on offer. They also offer custom landscaping services, a florist for weddings and occasions, and a selection of beautiful gardening tools and accessories. The gardens are expansive, and full of beautiful and odd things to look at, like this decaying car, overgrown with plants and being reclaimed by the wilderness in a sunlight-dappled back corner.
Once again, Gillian styled us both up in a couple of outfits from her own closet and set us loose on the unsuspecting patrons of Flora Grubb. These shorts were by far my favorite item from the shoot. High-wasted, floral-print hot pants? Yes please! Gillian is so crafty, apparently she made these. I’m putting in an order for my own pair.
making the sexy eyes at the cute boy at the register
More to come from this fun shoot…stay tuned or check the full set out at TrixieLand Photography! In the meantime, if your in the Bay Area, swing by Flora Grubb for a coffee and some garden wandering. Pick up a cute terrarium inside and fill it with a dainty air-plant garden to take home with you. And tell the cute guy with the gauges at the counter that I say “heeeeyyyyy.”
Flora Grubb Gardens
Monday – Saturday 9:00 – 5:00 • Sunday 10:00 – 5:00
1634 Jerrold Ave, San Francisco, CA • 415.626.7256
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