Threads + Thoughts | Comparison is the Thief of Joy

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Oh, hey there, Internet. Good to see you again. It has been a while, hasn’t it? Sorry I went all MIA on you. But look! I’m compensating with a photo of me attempting to look sexy and smirky in this rad little shift dress I scored on a Thrift. It’s the perfect weight, length and cut for summer, plus it’s super versatile and looks great paired with damn near anything.  I have a feeling I’m going to be rocking this well into the autumn months (though
 the entire concept of seasons in Southern California is sort of a joke). 

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To be perfectly honest, part of the reason I am so few and far between on the outfit photos is because they are really hard for me. I feel so silly, primping and preening for the camera, even now, after all this time. Even when I have someone else to take my photos, I feel so stilted and unsure of myself as soon as I sense the lens on me. I suppose there is an element of insecurity, the worry of how I look. There are still days where I struggle to like my appearance, still days where I worry that I’m an ugly girl and that self consciousness is particularly keen when I’m in front of the camera.

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A part of the reason I started my style blog was because I realized I avoided cameras. There are huge chunks of my youth in which not a single photo of me exists because I hated having my picture taken. For years I would either flee the room or pull a face whenever a camera pointed in my direction. I still have a hard time smiling for photos, because I think I look like a complete goober when I smile. Hence the eternal RBF (Resting Bitch Face) in all my photos. I know how silly that is, particularly since I spent 2.5 years in braces and get compliments on my smile all the time…but it’s just one of those things, ya know? There’s probably some carryover insecurity from the Before Braces era, when I was a snaggle-toothed little kid who covered her mouth when she smiled.

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I’m still coming to terms with the way that I look. Every day there is the comparison, the concern that I am not pretty enough or not as pretty as someone else. I rarely doubt my own intelligence or sense of humor, but my looks? That is something I am constantly questioning. As I was editing these photos, that nasty, inner critic we all have started doing it’s thing. Gosh, your face is boring. Shouldn’t I have a thigh-gap? Are my knee caps fat? Why in gods name am I concerned about the fatness of my knee caps?? It’s all so silly and trivial and superficial. Who am I comparing myself to? Whose standard of beauty am I not measuring up to? Why am I enforcing that standard on myself?

Recently, the ever lovely and encouraging Gala Darling posted this image on her Facebook page and the sentiment hit me like a fistful of glitter. Just stop. Stop comparing yourself to other people, stop evaluating yourself based on someone else. Here’s a little secret; you never measure up. So just stop doing it. It reminded me of another quote I love, and one I’ll leave you (and my inner critic) with.

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gypsi@gypsiblog.com

4 Comments

    • haha, i love any description that includes the word whimsical. i am all about the whimsy.

  1. You are beautiful, you bright soul, you. There should be no comparison with beauty because we are all so vast in our differences, and each one of us has our own kind of beauty. I definitely have fat knee caps, no question about that, lol, and that’s always bothered me, that’s why I wear long skirts, pants or harem pants. But even though I always look at other peoples ‘perfect knees’ and wish mine were like that, I still love my knees because they work. They may not look how I want them to, but they let me experience the world around me and I am thankful for them. In that sense of gratitude for my knees I find the beauty that I seek. This is how I’ve come to terms with parts of me that I’d normally consider ‘ugly’. Some people don’t have the ability to walk around or use their knees, and would give anything to have fat, workable, kneecaps, lol. Anyways, I find you beautiful not only because of how drop dead gorgeous you truly are, but because of how you find beauty in the rest of the world, how you are able to capture moments of joy whether in photo form, in words, in paint or even just the way you make others feel empowered just being around your own powerful energy. I love you so much, thank you for being such a beautiful soul and source of encouragement in my life 🙂 <3

    • aw, my sweet friend. i miss you so much! this is precisely what one should be focusing on. Gratitude. Grateful to have such a wonderful human being in my life.

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